So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
