Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
