he thought i was a dude.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
