Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
