one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
