so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
