worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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