Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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