This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
