Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
