how can u be prego again
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
