I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
