They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
