I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it because I queefed?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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