yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
