I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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