frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
