There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
