super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Found the puke drawer
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
