I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
