why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
