you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
