I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
