If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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