brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
