I faked an abortion last night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
