Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
