He is an equal opportunity slut.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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