just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
