i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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