The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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