There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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