just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
