So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
