Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
