I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
