I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
