so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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