their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
