Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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