well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
