Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
