He had one of those small greek statue penises
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
