Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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