I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
