so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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