I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
