Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
