im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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