Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
