Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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