You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm like, not good at living.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
